I am a white man, which qualifies me more than anyone to talk about minorities and women and how they should be dealing with their problems. I am very smart and knowledgeable, due to my years of experience in a completely unrelated field. I read a book or two about feminism some years back, so that makes me Very Knowledgeable on the subject. Really, I only want what's best for the women, and they should know that my intentions count more than my actions and that my intentions are very good. If some of my words towards feminists seem harsh, it is only because I am a Very Concerned ally. I have a wife and a mother and a sister, so I have nothing but respect for women. I also have developed a love for the female form through readings of Playboy magazine. Hugh Hefner is a true feminist.
But there are some things that I cannot accept in the modern feminist movement. The notion that women would get all offended when my offer them sincere compliments, no matter how unwanted, that just blows my mind. My intentions are good. I appreciate the woman's form. I would feel complimented if a woman were to do that for my body. Can feminists not have compassion for these men, who are showing their appreciation. Why, if these bourgeois feminists keep being mean to men, the revolution will never come and I would sadly have to hold feminists responsible.
You might think that I am out of touch, but I have spent up to $35 a year to become a member of NOW and other feminist organizations. Surely that entitles me to speak for the movement. So, we really should focus on what's important: winning elections for the Democratic Party, no matter how bad that candidate is. You feminists and your focus on abortion is hurting us. We need to focus on the Important Things. We can't be turning off Real American Blue Collar Voters by being so damn liberal. It just hurts our image. You feminists need to calm that down.
And lesbians, you know I support your rights 100%. But can you stop being so man hating? We straight white men can barely get in a word edgewise, especially now with those trans people demanding a spot. Who gets attention next, our pets? I am a liberal man, but these are hard adjustments to make and my wishes must be accommodated here.
In my field, we only hire by merit, so it is only the fault of women that they haven't reached parity in my well-paying field. Affirmative action would just muddy the waters and make men resentful of women, some of whom would surely be unqualified for the jobs. I only have the best interests of women at heart, here.
Don't object to what I say, that is censorship!!!!